why is he hot and cold

He was in front of me, crying hard, his face red and wet. We had almost two years together, and I’d thought we were happy. I hadn’t seen any signs that anything was wrong.

He started talking about things that had been bothering him. It was the first time I’d ever heard about any of them. They were all so small—little insecurities, things he said he’d kept to himself because he was hoping they would just go away. He told me he’d been “fighting” for our relationship by not saying anything, just trying to handle it alone. But now, he said, it had all become too much.

By the time he told me, he had already decided. I was hearing all of this for the first time, but he was already leaving. He told me he needed to go, but then he promised he would come back after some time apart. He said we were just taking a break.

I held onto that. I thought maybe he really just needed space, that he would reach out, that this wasn’t the end.

But after that day, I never heard from him again. He just disappeared. No message. No call. Nothing.

I spent months waiting. Every time my phone buzzed, I hoped it would be him. I kept thinking about the breakup, trying to remember if I’d missed something, or if there was a moment when it could have been different. I questioned if I ever mattered to him at all.

It felt like being blindsided twice—first by the breakup, then by his silence after promising to come back.

Now it’s been several months, and I still haven’t gotten any answers. I started looking for support online, trying to understand what happened. Our relationship had felt loving and healthy. I gave everything I could. I don’t know why it ended this way, or if I’ll ever know.