why is he hot and cold

He slid my chair out for me, opened the car doors, every gesture careful and practiced. We were at a nice restaurant in a big city, two hours from where he lived. The conversation pulled us so far in that our plates stayed untouched. Even the waiter noticed, commenting on how absorbed we were in each other.

After dinner, we went dancing. There was chemistry—so much that it felt like the whole evening was charged, every moment drawing us closer. I remember thinking it was rare to feel this seen.

The next morning, my phone lit up with his messages.

“I had an amazing time with you. You’re beautiful, intelligent, and sexy 😘”

Then, “I would love to see you again.”

A third one: “I wish I was still with you.”

And finally, “I have no regrets of staying up late with you, on the contrary only good memories.”

I replied, excited by the attention, thinking about what might happen next.

But the following day, nothing. I sent a message, and he answered, but it was short.

Now, two days after that, still nothing.

I’ve been single for a year since my divorce. I’m used to being pursued—men make a big effort, but after a date like this, or once they finally get what they want, they vanish. I keep noticing this pattern.

I don’t know why it happens. I don’t know what shifted after that night or what made him go silent. I’m left waiting, checking, wondering if this is just how it goes for me.