how long should a situationship last

I told him I’d caught feelings. He said he’d just gotten out of a long-term relationship and didn’t want anything serious.

I was twenty. He was twenty-seven. I thought I was mature for my age. I wanted attention, so I kept seeing him. He was affectionate. He listened to what I had to say, and it felt like he cared.

We kept seeing each other for about a year. I stayed, even after knowing what he’d said. I wanted the connection, and I thought I could handle it. Being with him felt better than being alone.

After a year, I broke it off. But even after that, he kept reaching out to me throughout the next year, trying to reconnect.

A month ago, I found out he was married. The emotions came all at once—shock, confusion, pain. I didn’t know who to talk to, so I posted about it online. People replied. Some offered kindness, others gave harsh truths. I read through all the comments, letting them sink in.

Now I’m twenty-three. I feel lonely sometimes. I think about how naive I was at twenty, looking for romantic attention wherever I could find it. I take responsibility for the choices I made, for staying as long as I did.

I don’t hate him. I hope his relationship works out. I like to think I wouldn’t change anything, even though it still hurts. What happened was for the best, or at least that’s what I tell myself.

I still don’t know why he could commit to someone else so soon after telling me he wasn’t ready. I’m left with that question, and with the quiet that follows.