why is he hot and cold

He wrote, “It doesn’t need to be a relationship but someone who I can connect.” That was his answer when I asked what he was looking for. We had been talking for two months and met twice in person, but I still wasn’t sure where things stood.

I wanted to know his intentions, so I asked. That was the reply I got. It left things open, not exactly saying yes, not exactly saying no.

Later, he told me, “I’m not ready for a relationship at the moment but I would be happy to talk and see you as friends.” I didn’t ask him to exclude me from his life, and I didn’t press for a definite ending. I just asked if he was still up to meet again.

I kept thinking about whether he ever wanted a relationship, or if things maybe got too serious for him. I didn’t know.

I took my confusion online and wrote out what had happened. I asked what it means when someone says they’re not ready for a relationship but still wants to see you as friends, and what others would do if they were in my place.

There were a lot of replies, more than I thought there would be.

I hadn’t made any final decision. I hadn’t ended things officially. The question was still there.