why do I need constant reassurance

He was in front of me again, bringing up the same thing for what felt like the hundredth time. Almost a year together, and I was still trying my best to reassure him, because I cared about him so much. But it was always the same issue, again and again. Nothing I said seemed to last. Sometimes it helped for a little while, but then we were right back where we started.

He didn’t ask directly for reassurance. Instead, it would turn into him pushing me away, or we’d end up in an argument. It never felt like a real conversation—more like I was being tested, or blamed, or just spinning in circles. Each time, I felt more worn out. I tried to keep up, because I loved him, but it was getting harder to know what to say.

Recently, he basically ended the relationship... but not really. It was confusing. I didn’t know if we were still together or not. He didn’t say it was over, but nothing felt settled. All I knew for certain was that I couldn’t leave him. I love him too much, and I’m not going to walk away.

He’s said he cannot change. I brought up the idea of couples therapy. He said he’d be okay with it if it was through my therapist—someone who knows me and has seen me through hard times. He didn’t seem interested in starting with someone new.

I’m still trying to reassure him, even though the cycle keeps repeating. The same concerns, the same patterns, the same exhaustion. Now I’m searching for advice, asking online, hoping that maybe someone else has figured out how to make this easier.

Nothing has changed yet. The cycle keeps going. I’m still here, still tired, still not sure what will happen next.