why do guys ghost after sex

I started dating someone I met online. We went out four to six times. Things seemed to be progressing.

He had said he wanted a relationship.

We had sex.

After that, he became colder. He stopped actively pursuing plans. Texting became scattered. The overall effort level dropped.

Then it happened again.

Different man. Four to six dates. He had also said he wanted a relationship.

We had sex.

The effort dropped. Texts became sporadic. Plans stopped materializing.

The third time, I started watching for it. Four to six dates. Things appeared to be progressing. He had said he wanted a relationship. From my perspective, the sex was good. There was no obvious incident that explained what came next.

After sex, he went cold.

Four to six dates seemed to be the pattern. Long enough to feel like something was building. Long enough that sex felt like a natural progression. And then, right after, the shift.

I couldn't tell if they had only wanted sex, or if four to six dates is just when people figure out whether they're compatible and the timing was coincidence, or if it was about sexual compatibility.

All three explanations seemed possible. None of them felt certain.

I started asking myself a practical question: should I just take sex off the table while dating?

The pattern kept happening, and I still don't know why.