how to know if someone is using you for money

I was academically focused in high school in Connecticut. I saw myself as nerdier, outside the popular social circle.

There was a boy on the hockey team who was socially popular and carried a lot of status in the school.

Then he added me on Snapchat and began talking to me.

Being noticed by someone like him felt like proof that I could belong to the kind of social world I wanted access to. His attention felt validating, so I gave the interaction more credibility and emotional weight than I otherwise might have.

During the conversations he persuaded me to buy expensive clothing and luxury goods from high-end brands. He said he would reimburse me later.

I bought the items.

He never did.

The arrangement was obviously one-sided. But being chosen by someone with status made the relationship feel unusually valuable. His attention made it feel worth it at the time.

I never confronted him.

The financial loss became tied to something more embarrassing than the money itself. I felt that my desire to be chosen by a popular boy had overridden judgment I would later consider obvious.

My wish for validation had distorted my judgment.

Roughly a decade has passed.

I can now recognize the pattern rather than only the loss. I understand that I was willing to tolerate an obviously one-sided financial arrangement because attention from someone socially desirable made the relationship feel unusually valuable.

But hearing his name at a high-school reunion or through mutual acquaintances can still trigger embarrassment.

Not about the money.

About how much I was willing to ignore because someone popular had chosen me.

I don't know if he ever intended to repay me. Whether he saw me as an easy source of money from the start, or whether the reimbursement promise was careless rather than planned.

What I know is that for a while, his attention felt like proof I could belong.

And I paid for that feeling in more ways than one.