how long should a situationship last

Since sometime in 2023, we’d slipped in and out of each other’s lives like this. There was always chemistry, always comfort, a sense that when we were together, we could actually be ourselves, untouched by anyone else’s opinions.

It was never defined, but always understood. The connection was mutual, and nothing ever felt forced or unclear between us. Maybe that’s why it kept going, even when everything around us shifted.

Then he started seeing someone else. That changed things, though neither of us said it out loud. After that, we didn’t try to escalate anything. We didn’t talk about making things official or even about what we were. The dynamic shifted, but the connection didn’t disappear.

We still found ourselves in these conversations that went deeper than surface level. We’d talk about personal values, about responsibility, about life—topics that made it feel like there was more going on than just something casual. That’s where the confusion set in. It didn’t fit the script for something undefined.

Then I’d go back to my own space, to my routine. I noticed that life felt more peaceful when I focused on myself, on my own growth, instead of getting pulled back into that bubble with him. There was a kind of quiet that came with being alone, a stability I didn’t always notice until I was away from him.

Still, the connection lingered. It didn’t escalate, it didn’t fade.

Sometimes I wonder what it all means. I wonder if anyone else has been in something like this, or what keeps people in these undefined connections for so long. I don’t know how he sees it now, or what he wants. I don’t know if either of us is satisfied with how things are, or if we’re just used to it.

Nothing has been resolved. My days move between the comfort of our connection and the peace I find when I’m alone. The question of whether to step away, especially now that he’s with someone else, hasn’t been answered.