he won't commit but won't let me go

I told him a few weeks ago that I was starting to develop real feelings. I wanted to know if he felt the same way.

He hesitated, then said he cared about me, but he wasn’t ready to say “I love you” yet.

We’d been together almost a year by then. In the beginning, everything was casual and private. I’d just come out of a long relationship, and I needed time to heal and figure myself out. I noticed early that he had some commitment issues, but I liked being with him. We agreed to keep things casual, but also to be exclusive with each other.

Around the third or fourth month, something shifted. He began introducing me to his close friends. It was the first time I felt like I was becoming part of his life outside of our time alone.

Within the last month, I met his parents. He met mine, too. It felt like a step forward, but I still wasn’t sure where things were going.

After I confessed my feelings and he told me he wasn’t ready, I felt crushed. He asked me to keep things the way they were and to give him more time to get there emotionally. Since then, I’ve started to feel resentment. When I ask for reassurance, he makes me feel silly for even bringing it up.

He does show care in other ways—cooking for me, spending time together, being exclusive, introducing me to his friends. But my emotional needs aren’t being met. Every time I try to talk about feelings or the future, he seems hesitant.

Now I’m stuck between giving him more time and worrying that I’m wasting mine. I’m afraid of being the one who loves harder. I don’t need to hear “I love you” every day, but after a year, the absence of those words makes me feel vulnerable and confused.

I’ve asked others online if they’ve been in a similar place. Reading their replies, I thanked them; their experiences gave me more clarity, but not an answer.

I’m still here, still with him, still unsure if I should wait or move on. I don’t know what comes next.