why is my friend ignoring me

We’ve been friends for almost seven years. Lately, she’s started leaving my messages on read more and more, and when I try to make plans, there’s always a reason not to meet up.

But it wasn’t always like this. Last year she started dating someone new, which could be the obvious explanation. But she dated someone else before, for two or three years, and things between us never changed then. I keep thinking about that—how I never felt this kind of distance before, not even when she was in a long relationship.

She was different. Colder, almost irritated.

Was it something I said? Did I do something to upset her? I asked her—more than once—if there was a problem, if I had done something wrong. Each time she told me no, that she was just overwhelmed.

I struggle not to get stuck in my own head, not to comb through every interaction for what I must have done wrong. It’s a pattern I know well. When people pull away and I can’t understand why, I turn everything over and over, looking for a reason. Blaming myself at least gives me an explanation, even if it’s painful.

I don’t mind letting go of casual friendships over time, but this isn’t that. It’s different when someone close, someone who’s been part of your life for years, starts to drift and won’t say why.

She says nothing’s wrong, but everything feels different.