how to get over a friendship breakup

I drifted off to sleep and there she was again. Almost every night since the falling out, I’d find myself dreaming about her—my best friend for fourteen years. In those dreams, we’d talk and hang out just like we used to. It always felt so real. The comfort of it would linger for a moment after I woke up, before the loss returned.

It’s been nearly a year since we stopped speaking. The end of our friendship left a kind of emptiness I wasn’t prepared for. I’ve been through romantic breakups before, but this is different. This is worse.

Some nights, the dreams are just us in conversation, like nothing ever happened. Sometimes it’s laughter, sometimes we’re just sitting together in silence that feels safe. I wake up and for a split second, I almost believe it’s possible to go back.

During the day, I think about reaching out. I’ll catch myself staring at my phone, feeling the urge to send a message or open up a chat window. But I don’t. I know things wouldn’t be the same. The friendship we had is gone, and I can’t see a way to restore it. The thought of trying and failing keeps me from sending that first word.

The grief has stuck with me, shadowing my days and filling my nights with reminders of what I lost. I keep waiting for it to fade, but it’s still sharp, still present, even after all this time.

No contact. No resolution. Just the ache of missing someone who was once everything, and the question that hangs over each day—will it ever get better?