how to get over a friendship breakup

His voice cut through the chatter at the table. He looked at me and my girlfriend and asked which of us was the "guy" in the relationship.

I tried calling him out, but my best friend just said, “Just laugh, he’s joking.” For her sake, I let it go.

He didn’t stop. “A friend of mine is looking for a threesome,” he said, and then, “All you need is the right guy to straighten you out. You’d be dickmatized.” I was disgusted, but every time I tried to push back, my friend insisted I was overreacting and just didn’t get his humor.

The “jokes” kept coming, each time chipping away at my patience. Then he called me a dyke. I admit I lost it and yelled at him. My friend got upset with me for raising my voice at her boyfriend.

After that, she ignored my attempts to reach out. I called, I messaged—nothing.

On my birthday, she showed up at my place. I was happy to see her, thinking maybe things would go back to normal, maybe she was bringing a gift. Instead, she handed me a box filled with things I’d given her over the years.

“We need to take a break,” she said. “As long as you’re jealous of R having my attention, I can’t be your friend.”

I tried to explain. “I’m not jealous, he’s a bigot.”

She shook her head. “You’re just being sensitive. It’s not his fault you’re gay.”

I was too upset to argue. I told her she was right, that we shouldn’t be friends. She left, and I broke down.

Since then, I’ve been a wreck. It honestly hurts worse than any romantic breakup I’ve been through. I keep replaying everything, wondering if I ever really knew her at all. The routines, the trust, the sense of having someone who understood me—gone. Now there’s just the box she returned and the silence she left behind.