how to get over a friendship breakup

The first time it happened, I was the one who ended it. Years of friendship, and then I made the decision, and that was that. This was new for me. In my twenties and early thirties, friendships just faded. There was never an official ending, just two people quietly letting go, no words needed, no confrontation.

But this year, I had two friendships end directly—one I started, and one that blindsided me. They weren’t connected. The women didn’t know each other. These were both years-long friendships, and neither ended the way I was used to.

The second one was the shock. There was no warning. I didn’t see it coming.

I started searching for advice, because I didn’t know what to do with the loss. I found endless articles and guides for romantic break-ups—what to say, how to process it, when to move on. But when it came to friendships, there was almost nothing.

Now, I’m still trying to process it. I keep looking for advice, but I haven’t found anything that really fits. I’m left with the loss of two long-term friends, and the question of what to do with it. I’m still searching for a way to handle these endings.